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For a minute I wistfully imagined a rip-roaring, cosmo-soaked night with ultra-femme, big-boobed tranny girls singing karaoke. Mind you, my ideal of hot, fleshy females wasn't downstairs, but it certainly materialized on the upper floors.

By the time we settled on the third-floor bar with its tall, skintight-catsuit-clad femme fatale barkeep and overly weathered couches, I couldn't decide if I was underdressed or overdressed read: too much clothing on , or if I should just shut up and drink.

I chose the last one. Sitting with Sparks, Chung and a cute boy, there was no want of attention by some of the most beautiful, jaw-droppingly sexy, curvy, femmed-up girls I'd ever seen.

One of the Divas dancers who stopped by before her set, Christina, made a trip to Mitchell Bros. She smiled and grinned and teased her mom, Cecilia, while we all ogled her crazy-curvy rear cleavage -- she was wearing a rhinestone thong.

Cecilia admonished her: "You ride the bus like that? With your ass hanging out? We sent our male companion to the bar for drinks, as only he merited the heavy pours from the flirty brunette barkeep, whose entire look made Hefner's stable look like, well, a stable.

Then we made our way back downstairs to the bar with the most attitude -- where the step-up stage and its glitter curtain promised us choreographed, costumed, lip-synched striptease shows performed by the girls of Divas.

At showtime, the worse-for-wear downstairs bar was an entirely different place. Now it was packed with an audience and every seat in the room was taken we were honorably placed stage-side ; overflow patrons stood waiting for the show.

There were couples, there were single girls dressed from goth to trashy to dressy casual and there were pairs and trios of slightly macho but shockingly ordinary guys in groups.

Our esteemed emcee, former Empress Alexis Miranda, launched into exactly the monologue you'd expect and that I've heard in strip clubs, a spiel designed to get your focus on the girls and your money out, but with a twist that became even more apparent as the evening and alcohol soaked into my brain.

As new waves of men came in -- some obnoxious like the business-suit guy I could've sworn was Barack Obama , some nice like the working-class dude with the Bakersfield sweatshirt on -- she made it clear that giving up a couple of bucks for titties and tequila in Divas made you not just a spectator but a participant in transgender culture and history.

Miranda heckled, flirted and teased the audience, but she sent clear messages to all visiting patrons: This is our place.

We remember getting beaten for wearing wigs. Tip well. Which is why when her humongous shoe flew off and she landed in my date's lap and asked, "Honey, can you help me out?

It was clearer than her stripper heels that even though the guys in Divas seemed intimidatingly normal and even a bit macho, there was no doubt that this was a place where the women were in charge.

Later, when I mentioned my observations of the power dynamic to Sparks, she told me: "You're absolutely right.

For them, it's the only place in their lives where they have power. The Stud and Trannyshack used to be a place many trans women went Tuesdays , but we were totally displaced by primarily gay boys.

Kind of funny, trans women performing for almost entirely gay men. When they're 'off duty,' the girls are just like young girls everywhere -- just young girls.

They're trying to get by, live their lives, survive, gain some validation same for all of us and make it in this very difficult world for t-folk. It was a bar experience like any other, except it wasn't at all.

Normally in a bar, I deal with varying degrees of male attention, largely unwanted and unsolicited. For the night I spent in Divas, I was largely ignored as I made my way to the upstairs bathroom, going by another bar crowd that in any Mission-Marina frat boy hipster dive might have been a gauntlet.

I was, in fact, off the menu altogether by all patrons -- and for the guys there to cruise, it was crystal clear that I was "not the 'droid" they were looking for.

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